Optimistic Child - Revision history

Scott: /* Learning Optimism */

2014-08-11T20:31:52Z

Learning Optimism

← Older revision		Revision as of 20:31, 11 August 2014
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	== Learning Optimism ==		== Learning Optimism ==
	Children generally absorb problem-solving skills and attitudes from their parents. Parents who learn to react optimistically to challenges can model these skills to their children.		Children generally absorb problem-solving skills and attitudes from their parents. Parents who learn to react optimistically to challenges can model these skills for their children.
	=== Strategy ===		=== Strategy ===
	* Become aware of your immediate thoughts as you react to adversity.		* Become aware of your immediate thoughts as you react to adversity.

Scott: /* Learning Optimism */

2014-08-11T20:31:07Z

Learning Optimism

← Older revision		Revision as of 20:31, 11 August 2014
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	== Learning Optimism ==		== Learning Optimism ==
			Children generally absorb problem-solving skills and attitudes from their parents. Parents who learn to react optimistically to challenges can model these skills to their children.
			=== Strategy ===
	* Become aware of your immediate thoughts as you react to adversity.		* Become aware of your immediate thoughts as you react to adversity.
	* Evaluate those thoughts, looking for evidence to support or contradict.		* Evaluate those thoughts, looking for evidence to support or contradict.

Scott: /* Learning Optimism */

2014-08-11T19:56:38Z

Learning Optimism

← Older revision		Revision as of 19:56, 11 August 2014
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	* What's the most likely outcome?		* What's the most likely outcome?
	* What is my plan of action if that happens?		* What is my plan of action if that happens?

			== Interpersonal Problem Solving ==
			* Slow down: replace hot thoughts with cool thoughts
			* Get some perspective: try to understand the other person's point of view
			* Set goals to achieve a better outcome
			* Choose a path: look at pluses and minuses
			* How did it go? Review what happened after it's over.

Scott: /* Learning Optimism */

2014-08-11T19:50:16Z

Learning Optimism

← Older revision		Revision as of 19:50, 11 August 2014
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	== Learning Optimism ==		== Learning Optimism ==
	* Become aware of your immediate thoughts as you ~~reaction~~ to adversity.		* Become aware of your immediate thoughts as you react to adversity.
	* Evaluate those thoughts, looking for evidence to support or contradict.		* Evaluate those thoughts, looking for evidence to support or contradict.
	* Provide more accurate, less catastrophic explanations of the adversity.		* Provide more accurate, less catastrophic explanations of the adversity.

Scott: /* The Right Way to Criticize Your Child */

2014-08-11T19:50:04Z

The Right Way to Criticize Your Child

← Older revision		Revision as of 19:50, 11 August 2014
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	* "You have to work harder on watching the ball" instead of "You're not athletic"		* "You have to work harder on watching the ball" instead of "You're not athletic"
	* "You shouldn't have eaten all the candy" instead of "You are so selfish!"		* "You shouldn't have eaten all the candy" instead of "You are so selfish!"

			== Learning Optimism ==
			* Become aware of your immediate thoughts as you reaction to adversity.
			* Evaluate those thoughts, looking for evidence to support or contradict.
			* Provide more accurate, less catastrophic explanations of the adversity.
			=== Questions to consider ===
			You experience adversity and immediately assume the worst. Ask these questions:
			* What is evidence for my belief?
			* What is the evidence against my belief?
			* What are some other ways of seeing this situation?
			* What's the worst that could happen?
			* What can I do to help stop it from happening?
			* What's the best that could happen?
			* What can I do to help make it happen?
			* What's the most likely outcome?
			* What is my plan of action if that happens?

Scott at 20:04, 7 August 2014

2014-08-07T20:04:46Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 20:04, 7 August 2014
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	The Optimistic Child, by Martin Seligman		The Optimistic Child, by Martin Seligman

			== Self-Esteem ==
			Boosterism for the sake of feeling good is empty and will ultimately fail.
	Meaningful self-esteem must be based on experiences of success.		Meaningful self-esteem must be based on experiences of success.

			== History of Depression ==
	Depression was uncommon in the 60's, typically reported only by middle-aged women. Depression rates in the US have skyrocketed since then. Seligman attributes this in part to a change in our culture that emphasizes individual satisfaction over loyalty to a larger group.		Depression was uncommon in the 60's, typically reported only by middle-aged women. Depression rates in the US have skyrocketed since then. Seligman attributes this in part to a change in our culture that emphasizes individual satisfaction over loyalty to a larger group.

			== Emotions ==
	Strong emotions, such as anxiety, depression, and anger, exist for a purpose: they galvanize you into action to change yourself or your world, and by doing so to terminate the negative emotion. These emotions have a long evolutionary history:		Strong emotions, such as anxiety, depression, and anger, exist for a purpose: they galvanize you into action to change yourself or your world, and by doing so to terminate the negative emotion. These emotions have a long evolutionary history:
	* Anxiety warns you of danger.		* Anxiety warns you of danger.

Scott: /* The Right Way to Criticize Your Child */

2014-08-07T20:01:56Z

The Right Way to Criticize Your Child

← Older revision		Revision as of 20:01, 7 August 2014
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	== The Right Way to Criticize Your Child ==		== The Right Way to Criticize Your Child ==
	* Be accurate		* Be accurate
			* Be specific about consequences
	* Criticize with an optimistic explanatory style: be clear that you expect your child's failings to be temporary and specific rather than permanent and global.		* Criticize with an optimistic explanatory style: be clear that you expect your child's failings to be temporary and specific rather than permanent and global.
	=== Examples ===		=== Examples ===

Scott: /* Explanatory Style */

2014-08-07T20:00:48Z

Explanatory Style

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	* Pervasiveness: bad events are global (pessimistic) vs bad events are specific (optimistic). Example: "Nobody likes me" vs "Kate doesn't like me"		* Pervasiveness: bad events are global (pessimistic) vs bad events are specific (optimistic). Example: "Nobody likes me" vs "Kate doesn't like me"
	* Personal: I am responsible for bad events (pessimistic) vs someone else is responsible (optimistic). Important to be honest about this one! Important to keep self-blame temporary and specific (optimistic) rather than permanent and global (pessimistic). Example: "I failed the test because I'm stupid" vs "I failed the test because I didn't study"		* Personal: I am responsible for bad events (pessimistic) vs someone else is responsible (optimistic). Important to be honest about this one! Important to keep self-blame temporary and specific (optimistic) rather than permanent and global (pessimistic). Example: "I failed the test because I'm stupid" vs "I failed the test because I didn't study"

			== The Right Way to Criticize Your Child ==
			* Be accurate
			* Criticize with an optimistic explanatory style: be clear that you expect your child's failings to be temporary and specific rather than permanent and global.
			=== Examples ===
			* "You are teasing your sister too much" instead of "You are a bad boy"
			* "You have to work harder on watching the ball" instead of "You're not athletic"
			* "You shouldn't have eaten all the candy" instead of "You are so selfish!"

Scott at 19:53, 7 August 2014

2014-08-07T19:53:59Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 19:53, 7 August 2014
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	Depression was uncommon in the 60's, typically reported only by middle-aged women. Depression rates in the US have skyrocketed since then. Seligman attributes this in part to a change in our culture that emphasizes individual satisfaction over loyalty to a larger group.		Depression was uncommon in the 60's, typically reported only by middle-aged women. Depression rates in the US have skyrocketed since then. Seligman attributes this in part to a change in our culture that emphasizes individual satisfaction over loyalty to a larger group.

			Strong emotions, such as anxiety, depression, and anger, exist for a purpose: they galvanize you into action to change yourself or your world, and by doing so to terminate the negative emotion. These emotions have a long evolutionary history:
			* Anxiety warns you of danger.
			* Sadness informs you that a loss threatens.
			* Anger alerts you that someone is trespassing on your domain.
			When these negative emotions become chronic and unresolved, depression results.

			== Explanatory Style ==
			Optimism is based on how you think about the causes of negative emotions
			* Permanence: bad events are permanent (pessimistic) vs bad events are temporary (optimistic). Example: "My brother is always mean" vs "My brother is in a bad mood today"
			* Pervasiveness: bad events are global (pessimistic) vs bad events are specific (optimistic). Example: "Nobody likes me" vs "Kate doesn't like me"
			* Personal: I am responsible for bad events (pessimistic) vs someone else is responsible (optimistic). Important to be honest about this one! Important to keep self-blame temporary and specific (optimistic) rather than permanent and global (pessimistic). Example: "I failed the test because I'm stupid" vs "I failed the test because I didn't study"

Scott at 19:28, 7 August 2014

2014-08-07T19:28:35Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 19:28, 7 August 2014
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	Meaningful self-esteem must be based on experiences of success.		Meaningful self-esteem must be based on experiences of success.

			Depression was uncommon in the 60's, typically reported only by middle-aged women. Depression rates in the US have skyrocketed since then. Seligman attributes this in part to a change in our culture that emphasizes individual satisfaction over loyalty to a larger group.